The Little Green Monster and Slimy Menace!

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The Little Green Monster and Slimy Menace!

This is the story of 2 antagonists and 2 protagonists. In a fight for life and death.

Antagonist number 1: The little green monster – an evil creature that lays thousand of eggs and when these hatch they eat the unfortunate protagonist number 1, alive.

Antagonist number 2: The slimy menace – using a viscous substance, it slithers onto protagonist number 1, biting massive chunks out of it.

Protagonist number 1: a defenceless individual that cannot get away from these evil creatures and has to suffer in silence, gradually deteriorating until it is almost dying from its wounds.

Protagonist number 2: The heroine fighting relentlessly and with a stubborn determination to protect the other protagonist and defeat the evil being.

There is another problem however the poor heroine has many of these creatures to fight against, they just keep on coming!

Did you think this was a horror story? A fight between good and evil? You could be right. Or you could be disappointed….or you could have cottoned on to this already!

The little green monster is a greenfly!

The slimy being, (you may have guessed by now), is a slug!

The defenceless individual is my poor unfortunate pepper plant, all of them in fact argh!!

The Heroine is me trying to kill the little sods!

The wet and humid weather in the UK has bred thousands of these things. I’ve been fighting with them, using bug spray, soapy water in a spray bottle and dare I say it standing there and squishing them with my fingers, oops just to clarity this is the greenfly by the way, can you imagine trying to squish a slug between your fingers, it doesn’t bare thinking about.

Now talking of slugs, they have quite a pleasant removal from this world actually, in the form of beer traps. A jam size jar sunken into the soil and filled with beer. Slugs love beer, hey don’t we all? Well actually I prefer wine. Anyway I digress, if I’m right in thinking they are attracted to the yeast, pop over to have boozy gulp and in they ‘plop’! They cant get out, so….. well I’m not going to spell it out in case there are any slug lovers reading this. Sometimes I pick the slugs off, or out of the soil with my fingers and launch them over the fence, which gets my fingers covered in slime and if you’ve ever done that, you’ll know it takes forever to wash the bloody stuff off!  NB: I never use slug pellets because they can be very dangerous to birds or any kind of wildlife, also cats, dogs etc.

So next are my poor bedraggled pepper plants. What did they ever do to anybody except for growing yummy sweet peppers and chili peppers for us to consume with great pleasure, if not getting a bit of a sweat on too. Well do you know what? These little evil beings as I see them, are not going to get the better of me or my plants. I’ve managed to get rid of a large number of them and will continue until they are destroyed. Keep them coming, good will prevail over evil! I am the heroine in this story remember! I am determined and stubborn when I want to be. In fact my peppers are starting to look happy again their leaves have stopped drooping, flowers are starting to appear and even a few little peppers have started to peak out from the flowers. Yes victory!

And the moral of this story is, (sorry I couldn’t just leave it at that). Life can throw nasty stuff at us humans sometimes too. Make us feel trapped and smothered eaten away at by anger, guilt and pain. This is where you have to become the heroine or hero as the case may be, don’t lie down and give up, that’s the easy way out, instead fight to have the life you want. Don’t let things beat you. Protect and look after your loved ones, be proud of who you are.

Here comes the cheesy bit. Don’t be that plant who is weak and defenceless, who lets the evil monsters of this world consume it without a fight. Be the heroine/hero that grabs the world by the proverbial’s and beats it up, wins the battle, is kind to others, and themselves too. Then go have a beer and chill out, just don’t drown your sorrows in it too much though!!

What did you think of this story? Have you got your own monsters you’re fighting against? If you’d like to share please feel free to do so in the comments.





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6 thoughts on “The Little Green Monster and Slimy Menace!

  1. I know just how you feel. Soapy water delivered by an old squirty bottle usually does the trick on those aphids for me. Little varmints! As for slugs and snails I also launch them over the fence. Into a field I hasten to add, not next doors garden. I think we all have monsters, it’s sometimes just recognising them. Mine can be ” but what if this or that happens”. Or “am I making the sensible decision.” As one of my daughters always says ” Just do it!” So I’ll try!

    1. Aphids and slugs are my pet hate when it comes to destroying plants. I’m glad you appreciate the analogy, sometimes a fear of consequences makes us stop what we want to do. But you just need to take the risk and go for it. Life’s too short to ruminate. You’re daughter sounds very wise 🙂

  2. I have these same problems in my garden. I detest slugs, I am actually quite stupidly afraid of them. I even wrote a horror story about my worst slug based fears! So I can totally relate to this struggle!

    1. I can totally understand them being part of a horror story, they are horrible things. I know you like to garden too so I thought you’d empathise. Thanks for the comment.

  3. When we were living in the UK we used to get slugs invading the kitchen, which was horrible – particularly first thing in the morning if you went downstairs barefoot…

    Love the analogy and the sentiment behind it – squish those fears!

    1. Argh what a thought, I don’t think I’d ever go barefoot again if that happened. Squish those fears, I love that! Thanks for your comments Kim.

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