This is the fourth story of Blueberry’s antics, if you want to catch up first you can find chapters 1, 2, and 3.here.
Blueberry Firepuff – The Secret Is Out!
All was quiet for a while in the household of Kate and Co. She came to the conclusion that the previous drama had been a dream after all, and life returned to normal. Well as normal as it could be at her place! She even forgave Maddy for burying her cushions in the garden, an accusation that Maddy decided she’d have to live with much to her disgust.
“Oh I’m bored.” Said Blueberry, one night, after Kate had gone to bed.
“Why?” Asked Maddy, happily smacking her cat nip mouse across the floor. It rolled under the sofa so she lay down and tried to poke it out with her paw. “Ahh damn it the bloody thing’s right in the middle!”
“There’s nothing to do, it’s….” Blueberry realised that he was now talking to Maddy’s backside as she attempted to wriggle beneath the sofa to retrieve her catnip mouse.
“Ugh this is a tight fit! Uh oh.”
“Ha, ha you’re stuck aren’t you?”
“No of course not.” She tried to back out digging her claws into the carpet for leverage. “Ok, yes.”
Blueberry waddled over in his usual graceful way. “Let me help.” Grabbing Maddy’s tail he gave it a good tug and she popped out like a cork, knocking Blueberry flying. Probably the highest he’d ever flown in is life in fact. “Woo!” He landed on his backside which was well padded, fortunately.
“Well thanks, I think. Its a bloody good job Kate sleeps with those daft ear muffs on!” Maddie swished her tail hard. “That was somewhat uncomfortable, and I didn’t get my mouse back!”
Blueberry ignored her. “That was fun, I need more excitement in my life. Before you were daft enough to get stuck I was trying to tell you how bored I am. Its alright for you, being able to go anywhere you please. The cushion incident is the most excitement I’ve had in a long time.” Blueberry stomped off and with a determined effort managed to fly onto the sofa where he turned his back on Maddy. “Not fair.”
“Ok, ok, let me sleep on it.”
“Really?” Blueberry said twisting round so quickly that he rolled off the sofa.
“Only if you take that silly grin off your face. Now go to sleep will you?”
Blueberry waddled over to Maddy and snuggled up against her furry body.
“Oh good grief.” Maddy rolled her eyes heavenwards and tried to get comfortable. “Don’t snore ok?”
Blueberry and Maddy were sleeping soundly when a loud clatter from the kitchen woke both of them up with a start.
“Sounds like Kate has the munchies.”
Maddy stood up “I’m off to get some cat grub.” She trotted off towards the kitchen as Kate staggered down the stairs half asleep.” With her curly brown mop of hair sticking up at all angles, and her ear muffs around her neck she looked totally muddled. “Maddy was that you?”
Clank, thud, smash!
Kate looked over at Maddy whispering, “do you think someone’s broken in?”
Maddy managed to stop herself from saying yes and meowed instead.
Kate looked around trying to find a heavy object, she grabbed an ornament off the table and brandishing it menacingly crept towards the kitchen. “Oooo I hope there’s only one of them.” Before she knew what was happening Maddy had dashed into the kitchen in front of her. Taking in the scene she growled at the two men who were crouched down rifling through the cupboards.
“What the?” Said Bill.
Maddy leapt onto his back digging her claws in and scratching at his skin.
Leaping up and yelling at his partner in crime, Bill shouted, “get this bloody cat off me!”
Maddy was yanked off him and thrown across the room straight into Kate, who had come dancing in screaming with the ornament held high. “Ummph you ok Maddy?”
“Never better. Back off meatheads,” she said glaring at the burglars.
A somewhat squeaky roar came from behind them and Bluberry flew clumsily in, landing with a thud onto Kate’s shoulder. “You mess with her you mess with me,” he growled, kind of.
“Me too,” Maddy hissed.
“Bill, are ya, are ya, seeing this?”
“I don’t want to see anythin’ or hear anythin’. Argh!” Bill bolted for the back door.
Stan stood his ground. “I’m not fallin’ for ya clever tricks, come ‘ere.” He lunged at Maddy.
‘This is my moment I have to be brave,’ Blueberry thought as he flew unsteadily, landing on Stan’s chest and letting out a jet of fire straight into his face. Well a little flame anyway….but it singed his eyebrows and burnt the end of his nose, so there!
Stan slapped at Blueberry knocking him onto the floor. “Bloody ‘ell, bloody ‘ell, I’m off,” and with that he shot out of the back door hot on the heals of Bill.
Maddy padded over. “Nice one Blubes, you okay?”
“Yeah I got him good and proper!” They’d both forgotten about Kate staring down at them wide eyed.
She pointed at Blueberry. “You, you’re real. And you actually can talk Maddy, I wasn’t imagining it after all. Oh I need to sit down, I need a vodka, I need a psychiatrist.” Walking unsteadily into the living room Kate dropped onto the sofa.
“Now look what you’ve done she knows everything!”
“What was I supposed to do?” Replied Blueberry, “sit there and watch while you pair got flattened?” They both stood there in the kitchen totally unsure what to do, when Kate walked back in they jumped in surprise.
Kneeling down in front of them she said, “you really were little heros today.”
“You’re not going to the psychiatrist then?” Blueberry said.
“Ha, they’d probably lock me up and throw away the key if I did. You’ll have to give me time to take all of this in though.”
“I must say you’re handling it very well,” Maddy said, head butting her affectionately. “However can I have my dinner please I’m starving.”
Her eyebrows raised, Kate looked over at Blueberry. “And do you eat?”
“I’m partial to the odd banana.”
“That’s where they’ve been disappearing to, I thought I couldn’t have eaten them that quickly. Do you want one?” Kate started laughing loudly, hardly stopping for a breath.
“She’s hysterical, humans seem to do that they’re weird things.”
“Will she be ok?” Replied Bluberry, “she’s gone very red in the face.”
“Hang on, get my water dish.”
“Well its a bit fiddly, my claws you know?”
“Hook them underneath, fly above her head and chuck the water over her.”
“You must be kidding me!”
“Just do it or she’s going to faint.”
Bluberry waddled over and after a lot of fiddling about, spilling quite a lot of water in the process, he managed to lift the bowl. Scrunching up his eyes then wiggling his bottom he flew clumsily into the air. Just as he’d managed to position himself above Kate’s head he lost his grip, so not only did the water spill onto her head, the dish landed on it with a thud. However it worked and she stopped laughing abruptly.
“Ouch,” Kate rubbed her head looking bewildered. Blueberry was so shocked he lost his concentration and plummeted down, unceremoniously landing on her head.
“Well at least you had a soft landing,” Maddy giggled.
“For fu.. sake this is turning into one hell of a day.” Still sitting on the floor Kate pulled Blueberry out of her hair and sat him on her lap.
“That’s very rude you shouldn’t swear like that, I only ever say bloody hell.” Blueberry looked up at her wrinkling his nose, then rolled off her lap. Mads said you were getting historical…”
“Hysterical,” grinned Maddy.
“Ok whatever, and we had to stop you from fainting.”
Swaying slightly Kate got to her feet then looked down. “Want a banana?”
“Ooo please, will you peel it for me though its very difficult, and I normally end up eating some of the skin. Its quite unpleasant.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Meat?” she said to Maddy.
After sorting them out she sat on the floor crossing her legs, and with his claws stuck into the banana Blueberry clambered onto her lap and snuggled up. “Are you purring?”
“Actually I’m purr-owling, its a combination of a purr and a growl, I invented it.”
“It’s bleeding daft,” said Maddy, and with a bellyful of food clambered onto Kate’s lap too. “Move over chunky.”
“Shut up I’m just big scaled.”
“This has got to be our secret right?” Kate reached down tickling Blueberry’s tummy with one hand, and stroking Maddy with the other.
“I wont tell,” replied Maddy, starting to purr.
“Me neither.” Blueberry closed his eyes purr-owling contentedly.